The end of an era

Max and I have reached the end of an era - he has officially weaned.

I have to admit feeling slightly conflicted about this milestone. On the one hand, I am thrilled that Max has developed other comfort mechanisms and is no longer exclusively a "boob man" when he gets really upset. This has also meant that John and Max have developed an amazing bedtime routine and that John is now the bedtime expert. It has given me some real freedom - I spent my first overnight away from Max this past weekend.

On the other hand, I really, really enjoyed this time with Max. Even though we were down to once a day these last few months, it was nice to have a cuddle in bed in the morning. On the plus side, we're still cuddling in the morning and trying to get a few more precious minutes of sleep.

I also wanted to thank everyone who has been so supportive of Max breastfeeding. I feel amazing to be part of the 17% of Canadian women who were exclusively breastfeeding at six months and giving Max the best start that I could have given him on the nutrition front. I definitely could not have done it without all of your support.

I don't like to post big, long articles on the blog but this opinion piece really resonated with me when I read it in October and it is no longer available online so I am including it here:

Benefits of breastfeeding; Controversy and lack of support keep rates low among Canadians

by Sheryl Barber and Erin Dykstra

After class, our peers collect their belongings and head out. Perhaps to the cafeteria, or maybe down the street to the coffee shop or the shopping centre. It's time to eat and to socialize until the next class convenes.

But we cannot join them. Instead, we head for the nearest private area, where we pull electric pumps out of our bags, undo our shirts, and express our breast milk. For us, it's time to feed our babies.

We are nursing students. We are also nursing mothers. And we belong to the legion of women who, by necessity or by choice, have returned to work or school while our children are young. In this, we need support.

On campus, we have been provided an empty boardroom in which to pump. While working in the hospital, we may have to retire to the parking lot to pump in our cars, or choose the staff lunchroom instead, with other staff (men and women) sharing the same space. However, we know the importance of breastfeeding, for our children and for society, so we persevere.

Breastfeeding is an act of health promotion. For babies, it decreases the rates of childhood illnesses, including ear infections and colds. It is also associated with lower rates of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, fewer allergies and higher IQ measurements.

Breast milk is easily digested and custom-made for each stage of development, allowing babies to grow at their ideal rate and reducing the risk of obesity and diabetes in later life. For mothers, breastfeeding lowers the risk for developing breast, endometrial and ovarian cancers, as well as osteoporosis.

It also speeds recovery and weight loss after childbirth. Once established, breastfeeding is easy and cheap. It's always ready, always safe, and doesn't require any special equipment: The ultimate comfort food and the ultimate convenience food all in one.

These facts, and too many others to list here, are why Health Canada, UNICEF and the World Health Organization recommend exclusive breastfeeding (breast milk only) for the first six months of a baby's life. They also recommend that babies keep breastfeeding, along with solid foods, to two years and beyond. That's right: Two years. And beyond.

Breastfeeding families cost taxpayers less in health care and provide a greater economic contribution in terms of productivity, because better family health leads to fewer sick days and less use of the health care system. In this age of environmental awareness, with our hybrid vehicles and reusable shopping bags, breastfeeding fits right in. It decreases environmental waste, with no tins or plastics to go into landfills, and minimal energy is used to manufacture breast milk: No electric power or fossil fuels, just 500 calories a day for mom!

But if breastfeeding is so good for everyone (except perhaps the manufacturers of artificial milks), why isn't that reflected in our country's breastfeeding rates? Fully 87 per cent of Canadian mothers begin breastfeeding, but only 39 per cent are still exclusively breastfeeding at four months, and 17 per cent at six months.

Unfortunately, according to Health Canada, breastfeeding rates are lowest in the populations already at risk for adverse health outcomes, including young and/or single mothers, aboriginal women, and those with lower incomes.

It must be said that there are women for whom breastfeeding may not be successful, for various reasons. But fewer than many might think. Many breastfeeding couples (mom and baby) just need the right kind of help.

That is why the theme for Canada's recent celebration of World Breastfeeding Week 2008 was Mother Support: Reclaiming our Breastfeeding Culture. To be successful at breastfeeding, mothers need support.

We need teachers and mentors to show us how to get started with breastfeeding and how to keep going: Well-informed maternity and community health nurses, midwives, physicians and, most importantly, other breastfeeding mothers for peer support.

We need encouragement from family and friends. We need employers and educational institutions to provide clean and private areas for pumping while mothers are away from their babies. And no, the women's washroom is not the best place to prepare baby food.

But perhaps the biggest thing that women need is a change in the way society supports breastfeeding. Public breastfeeding is clearly big news, as demonstrated by the recent media coverage of the H&M episode, as well as response to Angelina Jolie breastfeeding on a forthcoming magazine cover. In 2008, a mother's response to her child's need for food and comfort in public still incites controversy.

Some suggest that she should "cover up," or retreat to the washroom, but some babies just don't like to eat with their head under a blanket, and some mothers just aren't comfortable with babies eating in the bathroom.

Breastfeeding is a woman's right, and to be breastfed is a child's right.

Sheryl Barber and Erin Dykstra are fourth year nursing students at Douglas College.

PUBLICATION: Vancouver Sun
DATE: 2008.10.17
EDITION: Final
SECTION: Issues & Ideas
PAGE: A19

Teething, mine mortal enemy

Another week has come and gone and Max is a different guy. Again. We last left off with Max sleeping well on the way back from Peterborough. What we didn't mention was that the sleep continued through the night once we shlepped him from car to crib. This November 16 sleep was the first one where we got a block of more than 3 hours since November 6. Now that I put it in writing, it doesn't seem like that long, but after 2 months of being spoiled with luxuriously long sleeps, it was enough to spawn the Patient Zero blog a little while ago. After a week of catching up, we're finally at a point where Mom 'n Dad are at >95%, although Max is something else right now.

It seems that some of his ear infection discomfort might have been compounded by teething pains. I had heard that kids tug their ears in both of these situations. However, Max never touched his ears over that feverish weekend. As it turns out, he started yanking on them about three days after we started hitting him with the antibiotics. And he got some cheeky redness...also indicative of teething. Hmm.


Check out those rosy cheeks!

This past weekend, he got quite irritable. Not constantly, but in great big bursts. He'd be having a good time, giggling and playing, and then all of a sudden, he'd start screeching and shaking his head. I'm really hoping that this behaviour is linked to the teething so that a) it will eventually go away and b) it lets me off the hook for yelling at him on Sunday morning. Well, not at him, but certainly yelling and he happened to be the nearest person, so we can probably make some educated guesses as to what he thought was going on...

One of Max's favourite games has always been to rush over to the tub upstairs and see what sort of bathing product containers are on the edge so that he can shove them into the tub. Sunday morning, I was getting out of the shower and he decided to come see me. Then he decided to take Mom's very full pumpkin muffin spice (seriously, where do they get names for these things) shower gel (all 2.5 lbs. of it) and shove it into the tub onto my baby toe. OUCH!OUCH!OUCH! Or, as I put it, AAARGRGRGRGHHHH!! Max was pretty distraught...kind of like the first time Mom freaked out from being chomped while breastfeeding.

Anyway, I'm a little glum, because since that episode, he's been a little strange around me and there's just no way to explain that when people feel intense pain, they say things loudly and that it's not always directed at somebody. But with all of the teething pain that we believe is affecting him these days (we're pretty sure - the rosy cheeks, the crotchety mood, the notable absence of new teeth over the last few months, the drooling...), his emotions are probably overlapping and it's tough to identify what is causing what reaction. All I know is that his new favourite action is a wild head shake while gruntshrieking and almost saying his first word (yes, that word just might be "no". How horrible is that?). Sigh. Please let us not be punished for having an easy baby by morphing him into ultra-tantrum child!

On the brighter side, we have some video evidence of some of Max's new tricks. We love our little guy and his many burgeoning talents!!

Road Trip to Peterborough

Hey everybody. We just spent a lovely weekend in Peterborough visiting family and catching up with old friends and memorable places, so we thought we'd share some of the stories.

It was our first long car ride with Max in months. I think the last long car ride he was on was the ride between Sioux Narrows, ON and Whitemouth, MB in August. After packing everything up, we left Ottawa around 4 pm on Friday. Max actually had to be woken up from his nap at daycare for us to pick him up so we weren't sure what kind of mood he would be in for the first leg of the trip but he was all smiles.

We decided to stop in Perth to grab a bite and stretch our legs. Max was delighted to get out of the car seat and explore the top-notch restaurant we had chosen for dinner - McDonald's. It was great! He demolished most of a Happy Meal - grilled cheese sandwich, apple juice and apple slices, as well as quite a few chunks of chicken from my chicken nuggets. By the time we got back in the car, it was very dark and Max settled in for the night. It was a bit of an early bedtime for him but we enjoyed the catch-up time together in the front seat. We arrived at Great-Grampa Frank (GG) and Linda's place just before 8 pm. We had a little visit and then all tucked into bed early.

On Saturday morning, we had a lovely breakfast and visit. Linda has a wonderful bin of assorted toys for when the grandchildren visit so Max had endless hours of entertainment. Max's favourite was either the barrel of monkeys, the fireman that fit into a police car (huh?) or the Barbie who looked like she was at Bonkers until 2 am.

At lunchtime, we headed off to Trent for an Alumni Association luncheon event to honour the supporters of the new Alumni house (formerly the Masters Lodge at Champlain College) and also to honour the former Masters of Champlain. The lunch was lovely and Max was again the hit of the party. There was a wall of fame in the Master's Lodge where a bunch of alumni memorabilia had been stored. It all looked quite cool...especially the Max the Great birth announcement! YEAH! We were delighted to be recognized for our contributions to Alumni House and also to explore our old Trent haunts. Here are a few photos of Max from the Great Hall where we spent many, many hours in our Trent days:


Max in the Great Hall

Max crawling up the stairs to the college office...perhaps to register?

The Stardoms: a self-portrait outside what used to be the Ceilie
On Saturday night, dinner was at GG and Linda's favourite Indian restaurant, A Taste of India. GG has developed a love for Indian food in the last few years, especially butter chicken. The feast was delicious...even Dad's fish madras that just about made his face melt. After dinner, John, Max and GG returned home and enjoyed some Hockey Night in Canada (John's team won - go Canucks!) while Linda and I stepped out to see a local production of "West Side Story" at Showplace Theatre. Linda's granddaughter, Jade, was the female lead, Maria, and Linda's son, Beau, directed the show. Jade was absolutely fantastic and I enjoyed myself immensely.

On Sunday morning, we headed downtown to enjoy brunch at Black Honey . Linda's daughter and son-in-law, Lisa and Mark, are the chefs and owner/operators of this amazing space. We were so pleased that they were able to take the morning off to enjoy brunch with us as both of them are normally working the Sunday brunch shift. The place was packed so we were lucky to get a seat!

Here is the crew after brunch:


We spent the rest of Sunday relaxing a bit. Max, John and GG all had nice naps in the afternoon while Linda and I played a game of Scrabble. I am happy to report that, after a bit of a hiatus from the game, I can still find a word or two! We spent the rest of the day and early evening hanging out with Linda's grandchildren, Jade, Ray and Nathan, before hitting the road for Ottawa just after 7 pm. Max was a good little boy and slept the whole way home.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend full of family, good food and new memories.

Max as Patient Zero

For those of you unfamiliar with this term, "Patient Zero" is the epidemiological term for the person linked to the start of an outbreak of a disease. While I can't say that we are suffering from ebola or cholera at Casa Stardom, I can say that John and I have probably been the sickest we've ever been for an extended period of time since Max started daycare full-time. He has also had his share of bugs, well-documented on this blog.

We've had multiple sick days off because of colds, sinus infections, ear infections requiring antibiotics (my first antibiotics in years and years - other than the IV I got during Max's birth), hacking chest coughs, horrible sore throats and just all-round general malaise.

I definitely know that we are not alone, given all of the anecdotal evidence from other parents and friends. We know that Max's future wife, Maddie, made everyone sick around her when she started daycare in August. Everyone told us that this would be the case but I guess I just didn't realize how bad it would be. During a follow-up visit with Max's pediatrician this week to make sure that his ears are healing well, our doctor told me that he is expected to get 14 - 16 colds between September to April. He would be expected to get 10 - 12 if he stayed home, so daycare isn't that much bigger of a germ factory than regular life.

I also wonder why this happens on such a regular basis to the parents of toddlers and whether this is a more recent occurrence than days past. I was talking to my mum the other day and she said that this didn't happen to her, even though both my sister and I were in a big community daycare that I am sure was chock full of germs. Someone should definitely study this phenomenon.

On the plus side, I feel back to 100% these days for the first time in a long while. John is still battling a nasty cold but I can see a day in the next week or so where all three of us will be healthy and that isn't something that I have been able to say for the past two months. Keep sending us your healthy vibes, OK?

p.s. I knew we were in the same boat as other parents then I came across this "Facts and Arguments" essay from the Globe and Mail that just confirms our experience of the last few months. We actually thought that Max had hand, foot and mouth disease at one point.

I'm not sure if the link will work anymore so I've cut and pasted the essay below. It is well worth a read.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081020.wpodfacts1021/BNStory/lifeMain/home


Facts & Arguments Essay

Congrats, your baby is a public health hazard!

by ANDREW MCCOLGAN

From Tuesday's Globe and Mail

October 21, 2008 at 8:36 AM EDT

When my doctor announced I had hand, foot and mouth disease, I was seized by panic.

I thought men in haz-mat suits would come bursting through the door. They'd take me by helicopter to some high-security laboratory where I'd be quarantined — removed from all physical contact, sealed in an airtight room.

Then my doctor asked if I had any children. I said with the special feeling of pride that comes with being a first-time father that I had a seven-month-old son. He replied, "Well, that explains it."

It turns out hand, foot and mouth disease is a viral infection common in young children. It's harmless but highly contagious. It's the kind of bug that can spread through a daycare like a brush fire through the B.C. Interior.

In adults it usually doesn't cause any symptoms. But in my case I had all the signs: painful red spots scattered over my hands and feet, sores in my mouth, mild fever. Since it was a viral infection my doctor couldn't give me anything for it. He assured me it would clear up by itself in a couple of weeks. And it did, thank goodness.

I called it the baby plague. It wasn't the first illness I'd had since becoming a father. I've spent more time in the doctor's office since my son was born than I have in all my 37 years put together. When my wife and I brought Noah home from the hospital on a bright, cool day last November, I had no idea we had a pint-sized public health hazard on our hands.

When Noah had his first doctor's appointment at one week old, his physician recommended my wife and I get flu shots. He said it was for Noah's protection. We wouldn't want to risk catching the flu and exposing our baby to the virus, now, would we?

As I think back, I wonder about us. How were we supposed to protect ourselves from him? What about a baby vaccine for new parents? Something that would protect us from the things parents most commonly catch from their kids. I would happily roll up my sleeve for a shot of infant immunity.

The worst of my health problems was a leg infection I developed when Noah was three months old. I thought I'd come down with the flu. I felt miserable. I had a fever and chills, and my body ached. I also had what looked like a rash that had spread over the length of my right leg. It made it painful to walk.

When I went to the doctor, I was diagnosed with a bacterial infection. When I told people about it, they immediately thought I had flesh-eating disease. Thankfully it wasn't that kind of bacterium, and I still have both my legs. But it took eight weeks and three antibiotics to clear the infection. I've traced the bacteria to three possible sources: the change room at the local pool, the dog park and Noah's diaper.

In talking to other parents, I've discovered my experience has been relatively normal. When one person in the family catches something, it's usually only a matter of time before everyone else catches it, too. And it often starts with a toddler or school-aged child who brings a bug home from daycare or the classroom.

I heard one story about a 42-year-old dad who caught chickenpox from his six-year-old son. They were forced to stay home together for two weeks. I'm sure this dad didn't mind, considering they spent most of the time lying around in their pyjamas, eating ice cream and playing video games.

I've come to blame my chronic state of ill health on an immune system weakened by the stress and sleep deprivation that comes with caring for a newborn.

I've also come to realize that being a father means you have to take care of yourself. It's hard to care for a sick child when you're sick. And don't count on your wife to look after you. A baby bumps you down the priority list. You're on your own, fellas.

So I'm trying to become healthier. I've started exercising again, and I'm eating better: more fruits and vegetables, less fat, sugar and salt. I take a multivitamin every day. And I'm trying to cut back on beer and wine. It's paying off. I have more energy, and I've lost some weight.

I've also become much more concerned about cleanliness. Not to say I'm a germaphobe, but I wash my hands more and keep the house stocked with hand sanitizer and antiseptic wipes.

The extra effort is worth it. I love Noah with all my heart. It makes me feel good to be his father. He's made me a better person.

But now, when he reaches out to me with his sticky fingers and drool streaming from his mouth, I take a moment to wipe his hands and face. Then I take him in my arms and hug him for all I'm worth.

Andrew McColgan lives in Ottawa.

Diagnosis: ear infection

OK, so Holly took Max in to the walk-in clinic on Monday and after waiting for the 45 minutes shown on the Internet as the waiting time, she waited another 135. All this to get Max in to see our favourite walk-in doc, Dr. O. Our pediatrician was booked up for the day, so this was plan B. Dr. O is so good with patients. Holly has half a mind to tell him to start up his own practice so that we can flood him with referrals. We'd do it.

After poking and prodding, he declared that Max had an ear infection in both ears. Holly said something to the effect of "phew - that's all", at which point, Dr. O freaked out, saying "That's all?? Do you have any idea how much that must hurt?". I think Holly simply wanted to express relief that we finally knew what was going on and that it wasn't something contagious - I would have probably said the same thing.

My mom told me that I was just rife with ear infections as a little tyke, so I guess what comes around, goes around. However, I seem to remember getting a lot of banana Amoxicillin while Max ended up with the mixed berry variety. Apparently he'll finish off all of his doses sometime next week.

Hopefully Max starts to feel better soon!!

Here are a couple of treats for our readers:

Sickness and our love affair with standard time

OK, I'll actually attack those in reverse order. This past work week was amazing for sleep!! Throughout the month of October, Max was getting to bed around 8:30 and getting up around 6, then needing a feed and cat-nap to eventually get up for good around 7:30. Not a bad arrangement, aside from the fact that we were working parents trying to get the little guy to the daycare provider every morning at 8:30. Lots of rushed mornings. And then came "fall back" Sunday. OH YEAH!

From Sunday to Thursday, Max was getting to bed at 7:00 or 7:30 and sleeping until around 5 with the cat-nap taking him to just before 7. Holly and I were loving our new evenings together and the fact that the morning Max delivery plan actually worked out. What a great week!

And then came Friday morning. Now, I should briefly mention that Max and Grandma went to swimming on Thursday night...and apparently had a great time. Max reportedly does not like being splashed by other kids but doesn't mind getting himself all wet. But I digress...and the swimming likely has nothing to do with this past weekend.

Friday morning, Max was VERY cranky and actually fell asleep on the way to daycare. This is quite a feat, considering that it's a 10-minute walk. He was not happy when I dropped him off and I was only about 25% surprised when I got a call from the center where he has his play group saying that I needed to come get him because he wasn't himself. And by "wasn't himself", they meant "slept through play group" and "was burning up". Yikes.

I picked Max up and, sure enough, he was super shmoopy (def: cuddly, lethargic, not feeling well). He conked out on the way home and then did not object to being put in his crib immediately upon arrival. I snuck him out of his rain suit and some of his clothes to vent his 103-degree fever and woke him up just enough to give him some drugs. What happened next was pretty much put on loop throughout the whole weekend as a backbeat to everything else going on: sleep, wake up warm (103), get drugged, feel better (99-100), run around like normal Max, get cranky and tired, repeat. It's now Monday morning and I think we're in cycle #10.

This of course messed up the glorious sleep routine Max had established. We had lots of action between one and four each night, so we got the chance to flex our stiff "new parent" muscles. Hopefully things will settle down quickly this week.
It should also be said that we actually had a good weekend. Our friend JB came to visit us from Toronto (looking fine!!). She spent the whole weekend with us, eating well, playing Scrabble and getting some good outdoors-in-Ottawa time in while the weather is still strangely warm for November. It was great to catch up and show off all of Max's new bells and whistles that he'd developed over the past four months. Max's grandma also came over for a visit and some Ethiopian food on Friday night. Even (especially?) with a little sicko on our hands, it was great to have some company.

I'll leave you with a picture of shmoopy.

Arigato, Max!

We know that our kid is pretty awesome most of the time but sometimes, he is so super cool that we have to make special note of it. This is one of those posts.

This past Saturday night, we had the opportunity to visit our favourite all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant (thanks to Grandma H for lending us the car for the weekend). We hadn't been there since a very eventful and delicious dinner with Uncle M and our friend Is in August.

Max had been a little cranky earlier in the day but we managed to get him down for a mini-nap in the late afternoon and left for the restaurant as soon as he got up. We got our very own little booth and Max settled nicely into his high chair and started playing with everything. He even started flirting with two ladies at the table next to us. I think they fell in love with him.

We had brought some food from home but we barely needed any of it as Max dined out on various Japanese delicacies. He started with some yam tempura, mowed an avocado roll and a half and some udon noodles, and finished with some mango ice cream. If this dinner was any indication, Max has clearly inherited our love of Japanese food.

All in all, it was a lovely evening. Max was completely pleasant and kept himself (and us!) entertained in his chair without whining for attention or to get out. We didn't feel at any point like we were rushing to finish up to avoid a baby meltdown. We just kicked back, enjoyed some time together and some good (for Ottawa) Japanese food. It honestly felt like a date night...even with Max there!


Max ponders his first-ever bite of avocado maki sushi.

Max vs. avocado roll - action shot!!

Max and Mom, loving family sushi night.

Hallowe'en Apples!

OK, so apparently Winnipeg is one of the only places I know of where kids say that instead of trick or treat. Curious.

So this past Friday, Max had a day full of pumpkins, witches and animals. Unlike last Hallowe'en, where Max was barely capable of being propped up against couch cushions for a photo shoot, he was able to walk around and take it all in for himself.

In the morning, he went to the Children's Village playgroup party for a couple of hours. There were kids in costume, snacks, and songs! One of the kids in costume, a lion, decided to chomp Max's hand pretty badly...not so good. But Max had a good time regardless, munching on cheese, crackers and bananas. Mom and I are very grateful that we could grab an hour to step out and see our little munchkin interacting with other munchkins.




Later, that night, Max went out for Hallowe'en for the first time. His Auntie L and her friend N came over, all dressed up (a bumblebee and Snow White!) and ready to go. They even brought a costume for me. I'll let you see the pictures to find out who I was. We went out and did a quick loop of about fifteen houses in the 'hood and scored bigtime. Particularly at this one house where we got about 20 items. Awesome. The residential (non-artery) street one block over was a parade of trick-or-treaters and roughly 40% of the houses were doling out candy. Now we know where to hit next year.

While we're on the topic of places to hit next year, let it be known that Holly scoffed at me when I suggested traipsing across Island Park to hit Jason Spezza's house...as it turns out, he was out of town on a road trip, but his girlfriend was allegedly handing out full-sized chocolate bars!! Our neighbour across the street was practically salivating over the full size Rolo that he had received when we saw him at playgroup on Saturday morning. Given the volume of kids she must have seen, she probably went through at least $300 worth of chocolate. Not like that's a lot of money to people who make $7M a year. Although that house apparently set them back $6M...

Anyway, here is the evidence: